[It's only after Prompto's been gone for a few days and he and Ignis have returned from their expedition east that he decides they should probably have this conversation.]
Hey Are you home? There's something we should talk about
[ Prompto's departure was a sad one, and she's found herself often wondering just where he's gone. There's so much about this strange world she wants to know about, and this is one of them: if you're already dead, where do you go when you disappear?? ]
Yes, I'm home. I am in my room, would you like me to meet you somewhere?
[Honestly, Noctis had spent most of that time walking around like something that closely resembled a zombie. Only he someone managed to look even worse.]
No, it's alright I'll come to you Give me five
[And a few short moments later, there's a soft knock on her door.]
[ Luna hadn't gotten to know Prompto very well, they'd had very limited conversation, but it didn't mean that she didn't care... now, though, she needs to focus on those who remain: Noctis and Ignis. ]
Of course See you in a few minutes
[ And then there is a knock on her door and she stands from her bed to open it, flashing Noctis a small smile and gently gesturing for him to come in. ]
[ She smiles at him again and follows his lead, taking a seat next to him and giving his hand an encouraging squeeze. Something is on his mind, and it doesn't bode well. Sends a small wave of anxiety through her that she's able to easily mask. ]
Yes, thank you. What of yourself? This is much better than where you were staying previously, right?
[Sad and depressed Noctis is not something a lot of people normally get to see. It isn't even because he's particularly good at hiding it. Instead, he's exceptionally adept at hiding himself away.]
Yeah. I mean, no. It's not. [Gods he sounds like such an awkward idiot.] I'm sorry, Luna. I don't know why this is so hard. I just really don't want to hurt you.
[ It's something that she wants to make go away for his own good. She'd do anything for Noctis, and if she could take his pain away and keep it for herself, she'd do that. She'd pluck every single star from the sky if he asked it of her and it were in her ability.
It's that last bit that has her hiding a wince, because she's not stupid. She's got two eyes, she's seen what he thinks she hasn't. Some of it, at least, and this particular discussion has been inevitable. Part of her had almost hoped that they wouldn't do this. That she could keep some sort of false hope.
But she'd never expected Noctis to return the feelings that she has for him. She shifts a little bit herself now, before she pushes herself up to her feet to pace a few steps away, keeping her back to him. ]
I know. And I know what this is about... you don't need to worry about hurting me, dear Noctis.
[Of course she knew. Of course she had seen. No matter how careful he thought he was being, how subtle, he probably was being the exact opposite. Entering 'his' room when they went to sleep and conveniently leaving Ignis' come morning.
Part of him hadn't wanted to have this conversation either. Hadn't wanted to actually tell her. Because he loves her. He does. There are feelings there that run deep and that nothing else can ever change or undo. That nothing else can touch. They're never going to go away.
It was just that his heart had expanded and changed and the direction of what he wanted had shifted.]
Luna... I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. It started before you even got here and I just... [Didn't want to let him go.]
[ There's so much that Luna had wanted to tell Noctis at home, things that she never got to tell him. Things that, for a brief while, she thought that she'd finally get to tell him here. How much she loved and adored him, how she'd gladly die for him again and again.
But those things aren't meant to be said, not now. So she'll continue to keep it to herself. Saying things like that would only complicate things, and it wouldn't be fair to Noctis. Not to Noctis or Ignis... and she's never been a selfish person. ]
You need not apologize, Noctis. You've nothing to be sorry about... you did nothing wrong.
[ She really doesn't want to do this, and she's already thinking of a means of escape. ]
Your happiness has always been my number one priority, and if you are happy, then so am I.
Those words are on the tip of his tongue. So close to spilling forth that he has to bite his tongue to keep them inside. There had been so much left unsaid between them. So much that they had both desperately wanted to tell each other. To say. To admit. And he wants to tell her now. That he loves her. That he had always loved her. That he always will. That she his best friend. Above and beyond what anyone else ever will be. That their connection isn't broken. Just different.
But he doesn't. Because it won't change anything. The only thing that can change it is him. And he's already chosen his path.]
I am, Luna. I really am. [As happy as anyone could possibly be here.] But... it's okay if you're not.
[ She's not happy, no. Not for herself, at least. For Noctis and Ignis she is, of course. But selfishly, she can't be happy completely and she's sure in time those upset feelings will go away and fade. Time heals all wounds, at least that's what she's been told.]
I am happy if you are happy. [ She'll repeat that until the end of time. Her happiness has never mattered, not in her mind. But right now she feels ill despite already knowing that this was coming. She's going to have to put on her best poker face; and she thinks, after years in captivity, she can do that one more time. ]
I am fine... though I do need to run in a moment, dear Noctis. I've promised a friend that I would meet him soon.
[ That's a lie. But she doesn't want to be here right now, and as far as she's concerned they've had this talk and it's over now. ]
But those emotions were so raw, that wound so fresh that he didn't push it. Didn't dig. Didn't grind the glass and salt in any deeper than it already was. Maybe he should. But all it would do is make things worse. Would make the tension that was building between them boil over and explode.]
Luna... [But he doesn't even know what he was going to say. What could he even say? That he was sorry? For what? Breaking her heart? Not being as faithful to her as she had been to him?
For hurting her even though he hadn't meant to?] Please be safe, okay? If anything happened to you I...
[ That's right, she's not. But the one person that she can trust enough to go crying to isn't here, and even if he were, Ravus would only be angry at Noctis and that's not something that she wants, either.
So for now, she's on her own to deal with her emotions. And she can't come home until she's cried it all out on her own, let herself be sad and upset and momentarily selfish before she can come home and face him again. ]
Nothing will happen to me. You need not worry about me... I am a big girl, I can take care of myself. I don't know when I will be home, so please don't wait up for me. Thank you for being so honest.
[ She already feels like she's been torn apart from the inside out, and she doesn't think anything else could possibly hurt as much as this does. Not any spirit, nor Ardyn's blade could cut quite this deep. ]
[She shouldn't be thanking him. Not for his honesty and not for anything else. Those words hurt, cut deep and he feels an ache be knows he had no right to. He did this. This is his fault. And it's a guilt that rest sqaurely upon his shoulders.
But he has someone to go to for comfort. And she doesn't. So he buries it. Holds it inside and doesn't let it show.]
[ She doesn't trust herself to turn around and face him, because she's afraid that her aforementioned poker face isn't going to hold up if she actually sees him. So she merely nods, instead forcing her tone to remain light but neutral. ]
Yes, you as well. See you then.
[ Whenever 'then' ends up being, because right now she knows it's going to be a few days at most. She lifts a hand to wave, the only thing she can be bothered to do at this point, before she moves out of her bedroom and out of the house in general, headed out towards the thick forest so that she can do what she has to do in order to make herself seem a little bit normal when she decides to come home. ]
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timeasmymeasure
@kingsknight
Date: 2019-09-13 01:05 am (UTC)Hey
Are you home?
There's something we should talk about
Re: @kingsknight
Date: 2019-09-13 01:08 am (UTC)Yes, I'm home. I am in my room, would you like me to meet you somewhere?
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:15 am (UTC)No, it's alright
I'll come to you
Give me five
[And a few short moments later, there's a soft knock on her door.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:20 am (UTC)Of course
See you in a few minutes
[ And then there is a knock on her door and she stands from her bed to open it, flashing Noctis a small smile and gently gesturing for him to come in. ]
Come in. Make yourself at home.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:27 am (UTC)So he takes her invitation. Takes her hand and leads her back with him. Shifts and twist so he can lift one leg onto the bed and look at her.]
You settling in okay?
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:31 am (UTC)Yes, thank you. What of yourself? This is much better than where you were staying previously, right?
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:39 am (UTC)Yeah, definitely. It's a lot roomier. Guess I just got used to us all sleeping close together though. It's hard trying to fall asleep by myself.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:44 am (UTC)It's not a bad thing... I'm sure you will be able to sleep well again soon enough. Though something tells me that's not why you're here.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 01:54 am (UTC)Yeah. I mean, no. It's not. [Gods he sounds like such an awkward idiot.] I'm sorry, Luna. I don't know why this is so hard. I just really don't want to hurt you.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 02:02 am (UTC)It's that last bit that has her hiding a wince, because she's not stupid. She's got two eyes, she's seen what he thinks she hasn't. Some of it, at least, and this particular discussion has been inevitable. Part of her had almost hoped that they wouldn't do this. That she could keep some sort of false hope.
But she'd never expected Noctis to return the feelings that she has for him. She shifts a little bit herself now, before she pushes herself up to her feet to pace a few steps away, keeping her back to him. ]
I know. And I know what this is about... you don't need to worry about hurting me, dear Noctis.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 02:12 am (UTC)Part of him hadn't wanted to have this conversation either. Hadn't wanted to actually tell her. Because he loves her. He does. There are feelings there that run deep and that nothing else can ever change or undo. That nothing else can touch. They're never going to go away.
It was just that his heart had expanded and changed and the direction of what he wanted had shifted.]
Luna... I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. It started before you even got here and I just... [Didn't want to let him go.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 02:19 am (UTC)But those things aren't meant to be said, not now. So she'll continue to keep it to herself. Saying things like that would only complicate things, and it wouldn't be fair to Noctis. Not to Noctis or Ignis... and she's never been a selfish person. ]
You need not apologize, Noctis. You've nothing to be sorry about... you did nothing wrong.
[ She really doesn't want to do this, and she's already thinking of a means of escape. ]
Your happiness has always been my number one priority, and if you are happy, then so am I.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 02:38 am (UTC)Those words are on the tip of his tongue. So close to spilling forth that he has to bite his tongue to keep them inside. There had been so much left unsaid between them. So much that they had both desperately wanted to tell each other. To say. To admit. And he wants to tell her now. That he loves her. That he had always loved her. That he always will. That she his best friend. Above and beyond what anyone else ever will be. That their connection isn't broken. Just different.
But he doesn't. Because it won't change anything. The only thing that can change it is him. And he's already chosen his path.]
I am, Luna. I really am. [As happy as anyone could possibly be here.] But... it's okay if you're not.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 02:44 am (UTC)I am happy if you are happy. [ She'll repeat that until the end of time. Her happiness has never mattered, not in her mind. But right now she feels ill despite already knowing that this was coming. She's going to have to put on her best poker face; and she thinks, after years in captivity, she can do that one more time. ]
I am fine... though I do need to run in a moment, dear Noctis. I've promised a friend that I would meet him soon.
[ That's a lie. But she doesn't want to be here right now, and as far as she's concerned they've had this talk and it's over now. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 03:18 am (UTC)But those emotions were so raw, that wound so fresh that he didn't push it. Didn't dig. Didn't grind the glass and salt in any deeper than it already was. Maybe he should. But all it would do is make things worse. Would make the tension that was building between them boil over and explode.]
Luna... [But he doesn't even know what he was going to say. What could he even say? That he was sorry? For what? Breaking her heart? Not being as faithful to her as she had been to him?
For hurting her even though he hadn't meant to?] Please be safe, okay? If anything happened to you I...
[Did he even have the right to say that anymore?]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 03:24 am (UTC)So for now, she's on her own to deal with her emotions. And she can't come home until she's cried it all out on her own, let herself be sad and upset and momentarily selfish before she can come home and face him again. ]
Nothing will happen to me. You need not worry about me... I am a big girl, I can take care of myself. I don't know when I will be home, so please don't wait up for me. Thank you for being so honest.
[ She already feels like she's been torn apart from the inside out, and she doesn't think anything else could possibly hurt as much as this does. Not any spirit, nor Ardyn's blade could cut quite this deep. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 03:33 am (UTC)But he has someone to go to for comfort. And she doesn't. So he buries it. Holds it inside and doesn't let it show.]
Take care, Luna. I'll see you when you get back.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 03:38 am (UTC)Yes, you as well. See you then.
[ Whenever 'then' ends up being, because right now she knows it's going to be a few days at most. She lifts a hand to wave, the only thing she can be bothered to do at this point, before she moves out of her bedroom and out of the house in general, headed out towards the thick forest so that she can do what she has to do in order to make herself seem a little bit normal when she decides to come home. ]